A conservatorship has drained $1 million of my mother’s life savings, and no one can stop it.
A court-appointed conservatorship in Santa Clara County has eaten up much of the money my parents saved over a lifetime for their retirement. The current system is taking away people’s rights, and our lives have been ruined in the process.
By Anonymous
In early 2020, Britney Spears posted a TikTok video that concerned her fans, and the #FreeBritney movement soon went viral. A petition seeking a congressional investigation into Britney’s conservatorship received hundreds of thousands of signatures, and news outlets nationwide reported on her plight. Eventually, she was released from her conservatorship.
This was the first introduction much of the public had to conservatorships. But many of us with elderly parents or other vulnerable family members are in a battle with conservatorships that we feel leave them without agency in their own care and finances, for years on end. We have watched helplessly as our loved ones’ assets and savings accounts have been consumed by legal fees, with little accountability. And unlike Britney, they have no voice, and no one is on TikTok talking about them.
My mother is under such a conservatorship. The road to this arrangement began around the time my parents were in their 80s and planning their will. My parents had worked hard since they arrived in the United States in the 1970s, and had managed to save a decent nest egg for retirement. But some of their decisions about their finances and care led to conflict with their son, my brother. He suggested that they go to a seniors home—something they did not want. He then wanted to be a beneficiary of my father’s life insurance, which my father was also firmly against, believing that it should go to his wife.
By 2015, my father was terminally ill. To help handle my parents’ affairs, I contacted a lawyer (who was later suspended by the State Bar for billing clients but not doing any legal work). He recommended that I become my mother’s conservator—this would put me in charge of her finances and medical affairs. I went to a class in court for the formal training. Only later did I realize that this whole exercise was not even necessary, because my parents had already designated me as their power of attorney in their will and advance healthcare directives.
When my brother got wind of this, he was very upset, and sought control of their assets in Israel and to be made the beneficiary of their house in the US—an asset that my parents wanted me to have, because they had given him many cash gifts in the past. What I thought was simply family turmoil was, in fact, creating the perfect storm for the players in the wings.
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